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| most of my meds for the month |
3/21 start BCP, headaches and general gross feeling. Don't know how I endured them for so many years.
4/3 baseline ultrasound (with the vag-cam, not the cute on your belly with some gel, ultrasound)
get the call that afternoon to start meds. A bit taken by surprise but now I don't have time to stress about giving myself a shot:
gonal f- 300 units
menopur-75 units
4/5 start spotting, this is normal after BCP's stop
4/7 get a call from Dr. Jerk (on-call fertility doc, has horrible bedside/phone manner) tells me that I am not responding how they want me to and for someone my age they like to see more at this point. Cue tears (after I hang up of course) increase meds.
gonal f- 600 units
menopur- 75 units
4/10 continue with meds
4/12 start ganorelix in the morning(to prevent from ovulating)
4/14 my doctor happens to be on call for the weekend, she tells me everything is looking great and I will plan to trigger on Sunday, for a retrieval on Tuesday
4/15 call from nurse at clinic where retrieval will take place, I am scheduled for Tuesday morning at 7:30
4/16 no monitoring, blood work or shots. I feel lost
4/17 retrieval day. freaking out beyond words. scared of pain, going "under" and worried there won't be any eggs. turns out to be totally easy, I mean I was asleep for the hard part. They got 11 eggs, which they tell me is good. Spend the day on the couch
4/18 start Crinone suppositories (GROSS)
4/19 embryo "report" 5 embryos at this point, no news on what happened to the other 6 eggs. Looking like a 3 day transfer. I start to get worried, wanted a 5 day and I'm scared that we only have 5
4/20 transfer at 10:00am, I opt for the valium Very weird experience. We aren't told until I am on the table about our embryos. There are only 2, 1 5 cell good quality and 1 4 cell good quality. Dr. Not Nice tells us to put them both in even though our plan calls for one. I am too drugged/scared/full of pee (transfers require full bladder) to cry. We sign on the dotted line, he transfers two, tells us good luck, the nurse hands us an awful photo of the two blobs and we sit in the room until the timer goes off 15 minutes later
I am silent for the car ride home and then spend the day in bed feeling sorry for myself. I make husband hide the picture because it is making me mad/sad.
Now we wait. I tell myself this didn't work and I will not symptom spot. The mean thing about IVF is they make you act like you are pregnant after the transfer. No exercise, drinking, or caffeine.
I take a few pregnancy tests to make sure the trigger is out of my system. When it is out I tell myself I will not POAS until the night before the beta (5/2) YEAH RIGHT
4/28 POAS, looks negative. A few hours later I pull it out of the trash to check. There is a faint line, I tell myself it's probably an evap. Show it to husband and my mom (who happens to be over). They both squint to see it and say don't get your hopes up. (too late)
4/29 POAS, line is there. It's faint but it's there. I take some pictures, adjust the lighting and they are still there
4/30 POAS line pops up immediately. Show husband, he now believes me. Decide to take a digital for extra confirmation. There is nothing like seeing the word PREGNANT pop up on a screen. Cue tears. I am happy/scared/petrified
5/1 POAS just to be sure and it's still there. Nauseous not sure if it is pregnancy related or anxiety
5/2 Beta confirms I am pregnant!!!
5/3 spotting, nurse said this is normal, especially when on Crinone
5/4 Beta, number is doubling, nurse said things look good, tells me to relax(in a nice way)
5/4 evening, spotting is heavier, drop of red blood
5/5 bleeding, call doctor. Dr. Jerk happens to be on call. He tells me it could be normal or it could be that I am losing the pregnancy. There is nothing he can do. Just have to wait for the Beta on Monday
5/6 still bleeding, I know this isn't good
5/7 Beta confirms I am no longer pregnant but the good news is we can start IVF again in June. Yipee!
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