Mother's Day

I never thought Mother's Day would be a bittersweet day for me. But this year it is.

I am grateful for my amazing mom. She is my best friend and own personal cheerleader. I hope to one day be half the mom she is. My mom battled stage 3 breast cancer when I was a freshman in college. She fought it with optimisim, grace and as a true warrior. She is not one to sit back and let things happen to her. She researched the best doctors and most advanced treatments. She opted for a double mastectomy and never looked back. She endured months of chemo, hair loss and numerous appointments, procedures, pills and treatments. If anything the whole cancer ordeal made us a stronger family and we definitely appreciate what we have. I can honestly say it made my mom a better person. Before cancer, she was afraid of flying and this fear would hold her back from doing things she wanted to do. Now, after cancer, she is a true world traveler, flying to Vietnam, China, Mongolia, all places that she never thought she would see because of her fear of flying. She inspires me everyday. I'm a lucky girl.

Now onto the bittersweet...when we first started trying I thought to myself that "this time next year" I'll be a mom. Clearly it hasn't worked out that way. When I became pregnant through IVF last month, I thought that Mother's Day would feel pretty special this year. Of course, it hasn't worked out that way and instead of feeling special, I feel broken.

Peonies...my favorite

I couldn't bring myself to even look at Mother's Day cards this year. I avoided the whole card aisle like the plague. I made my mom a card, something I haven't done in years. I think it looks pretty damn good and I am sure my mom will love it. We decided to depart from our normal take mom to brunch thing and we opted for dinner and a movie. I'm just happy to be able to spend time with my mom (and dad and husband). I feel blessed to have an amazing family surrounding me, they help me feel hopeful and not broken.